The Starmetal Champion's Rap
In Culture
In Game
Script
prince from allento spittin bars like a maestro
makin prints cross the world bangin it out on a banjo
waking isle waking up sending our ship turbo
wizard bard druid warlock do it all that’s my motto
♫ if he is our prince then I will play the pauper,
my heart and my soul are too hard to break
fought our way to the top but we had to stop here,
despite all our rage we are still just a fish and a snake ♫
dread aura for protection cuz his style’s so phallic
Starmetal Champ representin’, metallic
(yeah yeah yeah)
king of tunes on his icy throne
gets no puss, ‘cuz he so alone
♫ Oris wrote that part ♫\\
STARMETAL STARMETAL STARMETAL
before we lay out and request our boons
please allow us to introduce THE GOONS\\
Garyx the gold?
(nah)
Garyx the red?
(nope)
it’s TheGoldenOrderOfFlameAndFire inSTEAD
♫ that’s our girl Seanit Beanit ♫
PLATINUM CHAMPION make some room PLEASE
CLANK CLANK CLANK swingin past his KNEES
♫ Aloysius Thane ♫\\
give it up for big A-4, the man who carried the SWORD
big dick wizard, wads of cash, we be callin him wadsWARD
♫ Lord of Goon’s Folly ♫\\
you ain’t seeing double but he’s double the trouble
another prince from allento yeah he bringing the knuckles
♫ I just call him Mat ♫
here’s a man even taller than fifty gnomes,
not here to play, it’s GO big or go HOME
magic ring so stacked all the hoes say WHOA
♫ whoa whoa whoa… ♫
nothin’ bout him’s small, let’s GO GO GO
♫ GO!! ♫\\
yo my boy speaks AQUAN whatcha think of THAT?
[long line of Aquan that rhymes with “that”]
real ballin hobgoblin have you gobblin deez nuts
ha ha, ha ha, whatwhat, what, big butt
his sword’s not the only thing that’s big
he’s got a second sword if you know what I mean
♫ it’s also big ♫
high as the sun, he’s here to have fun
goin’ to your mama’s house cuz he’s her number one
♫ a good time and a long time ♫
the lightning! ♫ the thunder! ♫ he throws javelins real good
♫ that’s Grish, baby ♫
was a stone cold motherfucker, now he’s bringing hard wood
[ tempo and key change ]
♫ whooaa anna anna yeah
ann-nnnaaa yeah anna she’s my star anna
YEAH anna ANNNAAAA whooaaa yeah ANNA! ♥♫♥♫
[ three minute long mandolin and banjo duet ]
[ exactly what the screenshot below describes ]
we talk a lot about dicks? well that’s cuz we got fucked
let me tell y’all all about how much this quest has sucked
shit saber, reaper’s razor
♫ “Where the fuck do we put it?” ♫
no brainer, the star gangster
ain’t no sword gonna phase him\\
STARMETAL STARMETAL STARMETAL
yeah, world-ending nightmare, it was our cross to BEAR
makin’ our way down south on a thought and a PRAYER
breakin’ bones, turned to stone, YEAH, we kicked it to Parrf’s LAIR
give it up for the goons, tiamat n’ nerull BEWARE
♫ at the call and the defiance of the gods
we come to you in a desperate hour
lost and humble, and against the odds
will you hear our plea? we need a dragon’s power ♫
[ long held mandolin and banjo note ]
DRAGON POWER BOOIIIIIII